12/12/18 Grayson

Last night I dreamt I was in our living room, but it looked more like that of a beach house but instead of overlooking a beach it was a field of grass. The entire back of the house was an open glass door. There was a small balcony with a short fence. We thought it was safe for our golden doodle, Grayson,  but as soon as dogs came by barking and playing he hopped right over the fence. I went into the field and chased him for a while, but I lost him. I had to return home without our dog.


Yesterday was 12/12/18. I knew today my daughter Carla would be taking Grayson to my younger daughter so he can live with her. Madison, my younger daughter, left us on 12/1/18. I think the dream was about her leaving and not the dog. I think this is what divorce must feel like. Someone you love with all your heart rejects you and everything you have taught them. They abandon you. Things should have been very different. But they were not. She left me. She left us. Madison left, and I don't know if I will ever see her again. She is leaving for NV in about 4-5 weeks. I'm not even sure when. She's leaving.

Update

9/30/20 Madison married Alex in July 2019. He was sent on deployment overseas and she lived with us for about 8 months. It was a trying time, but a good time for me to see she has changed and is a lot like Alex now. My heart breaks in how she has changed, but it is her life and her choice. I am sorry beyond words to think we did not properly prepare her to realize how tempting the world would be. I pray with all of my heart Alex will repent of the things he is involved in, even casually, and become the husband that Madison deserves. I pray all of my children, and those they love, will be drawn closer to the Lord than even I could imagine.